Slow Lane Shoe Shopping

Light up sneakers - one of the few benefits of wearing a size three shoe

Yesterday I realized I couldn't remember how long ago it was when I last bought a pair of shoes. Since both the pairs I wear daily are looking a bit decrepit, I decided it must be time to go shoe shopping once again.

If you sense a hint of reluctance in my tone, it is because I dread - absolutely dread - having to buy shoes.

I know, it practically goes against nature for any self-respecting card-carrying member of the female gender to not like shoes, right? Lest you want to email me with hate mail for breaking the girl-code, let me explain. It isn't that I don't like the shoes themselves. I do. But it is very, very, frustrating to walk down the aisles in the shoe department looking at all the lovely styles I will never wear. Instead, I must turn a blind eye and continue on, to the children's department and the size threes. Yes, you heard me right. I wear a size three shoe.

In case you've never looked, let me assure you, there really isn't much selection available in that size. I speak for myself and third graders everywhere when I say that the situation is dire. Yesterday, for example, I found I had a choice between a pair of exceedingly pink Barbie sneakers, a pair of light up sneakers, and another pair adorned with cartoon characters of some sort. Naturally, I chose the light ups.

Once, I bought a pair of black sneakers. They had a checkerboard number 8 on the side, but I needed black footwear for waitressing and these were the best I could do. I wondered why people sometimes honked or yelled "Whoo hooo! Number 8!" at me when I walked down the street in them, but it was several months before I realized I was wearing Dale Earnhardt sneakers. Before that, I think I had a pair with Pirates of the Caribbean.

To the good, at least my light up sneakers will mean I won't have to worry about cars not seeing me in the dark when I go out for my power walks this week.